Having worked as Divorce Lawyers and mediators for over 20 years, we are often asked what helps married couples to stay together. There is no one answer to this, but some common themes for marriage breakdown have helped us pull together some tips: -

1.          Accept your partner's strengths and weaknesses and focus on their positive qualities. Don't try to change them. Compliment them.    Appreciate what you have in your relationship and avoid comparing it to others.

2.          Support each other's individual growth and passions and respect each other's choices. Encourage your partner to pursue their own interests.

3.          Share the load. Consider how chores, responsibilities and tasks are divided to avoid frustration or resentment.

4.          Find happiness within yourself, rather than relying on your partner to complete you. Maintain your own identity and interests.

5.          Be affectionate. Prioritise physical and emotional intimacy. Make time for romance and fun together- spend time together.

6.          Be honest with each other. Communicate openly, resolve conflicts constructively, and forgive each other. Don't hold grudges or dwell on past mistakes.

7.          Make an effort, be friends. Celebrate the big and small moments, and laugh and enjoy each other's company.

8.          Practice active listening. Fully engage with your spouse, pay attention to their tone and body language, and demonstrate that you understand and care about what they are saying.

9.          Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements to avoid making your spouse feel attacked or blamed. Pick your battles!

10.        Make decisions together. Be open tocompromise and feedback.

Sometimes professional help can be useful to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. If you are looking for professional support, we hold a list of specialists that we can provide details of.  Contact us at hello@familymandm.co.uk or book a free call through our website.

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