Book Review - The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman – The secret to love that lasts

What is your love language? Transform your relationship, or simply understand and appreciate yourself or someone else better.

In this book Gary Chapman reveals that there are 5 Love Languages, or 5 ways to communicate love to one another, which is different for everybody.  This book will help you to understand what it takes for YOU to be loved, as well as what it takes for your LOVED ONES to be loved.  The mistake that many people make is that they assume that their partner has the same love language as them, which often isn't true and whenever you don't feel loved in a relationship, or your “love tank is empty” as Gary Chapman says, the relationship is in danger.

So, what are the 5 Love Languages:

1) Words of Affirmation

Some people feel most loved when they receive words of affirmation from their loved ones.  It may be being told “I love you”, or being praised, complimented, appreciated, supported, or encouraged. Essentially, having affirming words will make you feel loved if this is your primary love language.

2) Quality Time

For some people, words of affirmation aren't it…they'll complain that “They say they love me, but they don't spend any quality time with me!”  If this is your case, then quality time may be your love language.  This can be someone listening to you, doing things with you, sharing experiences, looking into the other persons eyes, etc…  It's important for this person to be fully present and with you when they're spending time with you, so watching TV while your partner is talking to you doesn't count and isn't giving them your full attention.

3) Receiving Gifts

Receiving gifts may be your primary love language if you feel most loved when someone buys you gifts, whether it be small or big. This may show you that this person really cares and you really appreciate anything that is given to you.  It could be receiving flowers, chocolates, cards, notes, etc… any gesture that is a gift will make you feel loved.

4) Acts of Service

Some complain that they want you to SHOW THEM that you love them, not tell them.  “Talk is cheap”, as the saying goes. These people need acts of service, which is when others do things for them.  Someone with acts of service as their primary love language will feel most loved when someone cleans the house, does the dishes, laundry, cooks, helps them with projects or tasks, etc…  When someone does something for them, they feel loved.

5) Physical Touch

Lastly, physical touch may be your primary love language if you require physical affection to be loved.  It could beholding hands, being kissed, hugging, brief touches, or even sex.

We all have a primary love language.  While you may say, “All are important to me”, there is one that is the most dominant and vital for you to be loved consistently.  You can put them in order of priority for you.

If you want to find out what your main love language is, and the order of priority for the other 4, there is a quiz you can take by going to "The Love Language™Quiz" at

Maybe do the quiz with your partner so you can both find out what your love languages are and then you can both better appreciate the acts or words that make you both feel loved and appreciated.

Other Blog Posts

Pension Vblog - 1 of 3 in the series

Top tips to understanding pensions on divorce


How do you decide what happens to pets if their owners split up?

Often the emotional attachment to our pets can be strong and an emotional part of the decisions made in divorce and separation.


Book Review – Teenagers! What every parent has to know – by Rob Parsons

Author of the highly successful Sixty Minute series Rob Parsons turns his attention to that very difficult period of adolescence - the teenage years.


What is full financial disclosure?

What has to be provided as part of giving full financial disclosure?


What is meant by a “birdnesting” arrangement for children?

You may have heard of parents who have a “birdnesting” arrangements when they separate. But what is this and how does it work?


Why do I have to have a MIAM meeting?

Many people ask us why they have to have a MIAM and what it actually is.

View all Blogs