Divorcing a Narcissist? How to approach your spouse about their behaviour before mediation

If you are divorcing a narcissist and hope to work through the legal issues in mediation, how should you manage their behaviour?

Here are some tips for approaching your spouse about their narcissistic behaviour before starting mediation:

  • Avoid confronting them directly about being a "narcissist". This label may trigger a defensive reaction and make them less willing to engage. 
  • Explain how their lack of empathy, unwillingness to compromise, and tendency to avoid responsibility make the mediation process very difficult. Provide concrete examples.
  • Suggest involving a therapist or divorce coach to help you both communicate more effectively and prepare for the mediation. Frame it as a way to     improve the process.
  • Emphasise the benefits of mediation, like saving time, money, and preserving some civility, rather than just the challenges. Appeal to their desire to     "win" by highlighting how mediation can give them more control.
  • Involve them in selecting the mediator so they feel they have some say in the process. A mediator they trust may make them more willing to participate.
  • Provide success stories of other couples who used mediation to reach an agreement, stay out of court and keep the costs down.

The key is to approach the conversation strategically, avoid triggering their defensiveness, and focus on how mediation can benefit both of you.

At Family Mediation at Mentoring LLP, we are accredited mediators who have previously worked as specialist family lawyers so have real experience of dealing with very high conflict cases. If you would like to talk with us about whether mediation can help you resolve the issues involved with your separation and/or divorce you can book a free call on our website, www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk

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