Mediation is generally not recommended for divorcing couples where one spouse has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissists lack empathy, cannot compromise, and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. This can make the mediation process very difficult, as it relies on both parties working together to reach a fair agreement. Some key reasons why mediation is challenging with a narcissist include:

• Narcissists cannot empathise with the other person's needs and only care about getting what they want.
• They view any outcome other than their ideal as a "failure" and will refuse to compromise.
• They cannot take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and will blame the other spouse.

However, some mediation models have been developed so that people can consider using mediation to help them stay out of court and reduce legal fees.

If you are married to a narcissist, probably the last place you want to end up is facing your ex-partner across a court room.

A couple of mediation models that can help are;

• Shuttle mediation - The mediator facilitates the exchange of information and proposals between the parties without them being in the same room, reducing direct confrontation. This can also be done online.
• Hybrid mediation - Where the mediator will bring together the parties and their lawyers so that discussions can take place in an environment where the parties feel supported by their lawyers. The parties do not have to be in the same room, whether that is a real or virtual digital (Zoom or Teams) room.

If for any reason these mediation models aren’t appropriate for any reason, there are still options that support couples in sorting out their divorce whilst staying out of court the main ones are;

• Early neutral evaluation - An impartial third-party evaluates the case early on and provides a non-binding assessment to help guide the parties towards     settlement.
• Arbitration - An arbitrator makes a binding decision on the disputed issues, removing the need for the parties to reach a mutual agreement. This has the same     effect as a court order.

These approaches can help limit direct interaction and power imbalances and provide a structured dispute resolution method which may be better suited in these high-conflict situations.

The key is to find an approach that limits direct interaction with the narcissist, maintains clear boundaries, and provides a structured process for resolving disputes. Working with an accredited mediator, experienced at dealing with high conflict situations, is crucial.

At Family Mediation at Mentoring LLP, we are accredited mediators who have previously worked as specialist family lawyers so have real experience of dealing with very high conflict cases. If you would like to talk with us about whether mediation can help you resolve the issues involved with your separation and/or divorce you can book a free call on our website, www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk

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