Stepping out of the courtroom and into the coffee room
How can a child's needs and a child's voice be taken into account?
It is very important to focus on children’s needs in mediation and children have a right to a voice in the process. We are often asked questions such as-
Q: Our children are still in primary school. How does that change our plan?
A: Younger children generally need shorter separations from each parent and very predictable routines, so the focus is usually on regular contact rather than long stretches away. Your plan might use simple, repeated patterns (for example, “2 nights here, 2 nights there every week and weekends alternated”) so the children always know what’s coming.
Q: Should we ask our children what they want?
A: Listening to children matters, but it’s a lot of pressure to ask them to “choose” between homes. In some cases, specially trained mediators can speak with children separately (child‑inclusive mediation) and bring their views in gently, with the child’s permission.
Q: What if we disagree on schools, clubs, or religion?
A: Mediation lets you unpack these one at a time: what’s important to each of you, what’s practical, and what’s in the children’s long‑term interests. Often there is room for “both/and” solutions, like agreeing on one main school but sharing choices of clubs or activities.
For parents attending mediation to discuss their parenting plan you are likely to be eligible for a £500 government voucher to help towards the costs of joint mediation meetings.
If you would like to discuss how mediation might be able to help you or someone you know, call us on 0800 206 2258 or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk. You can also book a free call via our website at www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk
