Stepping out of the courtroom and into the coffee room
What actually happens in mediation meetings?
Mediation is a facilitated discussion, unlike other meetings you may have had before. We are often asked questions such as-
Q: What does the first mediation meeting (MIAM) look like?
A: The first meeting is usually about understanding your situation, explaining how mediation works, and checking whether it’s suitable and safe. You won’t be pressured to make big decisions in that first conversation.
Q: Will we have to talk about the past or only the future in joint meetings?
A: Some past needs to be acknowledged so people feel heard, but the focus is always on “What now?” and “What next?” rather than “Who’s to blame?”
Q: Can we bring our own ideas, or does the mediator tell us what to do?
A: You’re encouraged to bring your own ideas, lists, and priorities. The mediator helps you test them, spot gaps, and turn them into a clear written plan that you can then take legal advice on if you wish.
Q: What if we reach adeadlock?
A: Mediators use reality-testing (e.g., “What if this goes to court?”) and private caucuses to unblock issues, often bringing in specialists for data-driven compromises. Most high-net-worth cases settle this way.
If you would like to discuss how mediation might be able to help you or someone you know, call us on 0800 206 2258 or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk . You can also book a free call via our website at www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk
