How to communicate with children about your divorce

Divorce can be a difficult and emotional process, especially for children. It's important to communicate with your children about the divorce in a way that is clear, simple, and age-appropriate.

Here are some tips on how to communicate with children about divorce:

  1. Keep messaging clear and simple: For all kids, their parents' message should be clear and simple. It should leave out details that could confuse or upset them.
  2. Communicate a sense of calm and control: When talking with your children about the divorce, try to communicate a sense of calm and control. This may help provide a sense of stability in a time of uncertainty.
  3. Stick to the boundaries you set: Refrain from divulging specific details to your child, whether about your new dating life or your experiences with the other parent.
  4. Be prepared for questions: Provide short answers, then wait to see if there are more. Don't expect one conversation to do the job, plan on several short talks.
  5. Plan a joint conversation with the other parent: If possible, talk to your children about the divorce with the other parent. This might be difficult but having a     joint conversation can help provide a sense of unity and stability for your children.
  6. Use age-appropriate language: Use language that is appropriate for your child's age and developmental level. Younger children may need simpler explanations, while older children may need more detailed information.
  7. Be honest and open: Be honest and open with your children about the divorce. Let them know that it's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused, and that you are there to support them.

Remember that communicating with your children about divorce is important and requires careful thought about when to do it and what to say. In mediation we can meet with couples who want to talk about and agree how to have this conversation with their children. If you think we can help you email us at or call us on 0800 206 2258.

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