Here are our top ten tips;

• Think about your priorities, aims and what is important to you. Be prepared to explain what things are making you anxious about the future and identify anything that you believe will improve the situation for both of you.
• Identify the questions that you believe need answering e.g. where will we both live? how am I going to pay the bills?
• Try to think about what a successful future outcome would like in 6 months’ time or 2 years’ time. What might feel a reasonable solution to you, and what might feel a reasonable solution to the other person. Be willing to compromise.
• If you have financial issues to discuss start to understand what you spend your money on so that you can work out a budget going forward.
• If you have children’s arrangements to discuss, think about how your child may be feeling and how arrangements impact them. How will your child/children have a voice in the process? Is Child Inclusive Mediation something that would be helpful?
• Be prepared to have ideas and plans challenged and be prepared to listen to the other points of view.
• Look forward rather than focusing on what has happened in the past.
• Move the mediation forward at a pace you feel is realistic and you feel comfortable with.  Do not be rushed. Take a break if needed.
• Speak up if you are not following discussions or do not understand something that has been said.
• Remember a solution will never be forced on you so do not be concerned that discussing an option will force you to accept it. Discussing and understanding options is not always easy, but each step helps you towards achieving a solution.

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