1.      Identify the questions that you believe need answering e.g. where will we both live? How am I going to pay the bills?

2.      Try to think about what a successful future outcome would like in 6 months’ time or2 years’ time. What might feel a reasonable solution to you, and what might feel a reasonable solution to the other person. Be willing to compromise.

3.      If you have financial issues to discuss start to understand what you spend your money on so that you can work out a budget going forward.

4.      Move the mediation forward at a pace you feel is realistic and you feel comfortable with.  Do not be rushed. Take a break if needed.

5.      Speak up if you are not following discussions or do not understand something that has been said.

6.      Be prepared to have ideas and plans challenged and be prepared to listen to the other points of view. Be ready to listen to what your ex-partner is saying. You don't have to agree with them, but understanding their perspective can help you both find common ground.

7.      If you have children’s arrangements to discuss, think about how your child may be feeling and how arrangements impact them. How will your child/children have a voice in the process? Is Child Inclusive Mediation something that would be helpful? Put the children first.  All decisions should be filtered through one simple question: "Is this in the best interest of our children?" Keeping this as your guiding principle will help you stay focused and make choices that support their well-being. A successful co-parenting relationship is built on this foundation.

8.      Prepare to compromise.  The goal of mediation is to find a solution that works for both parties, not for one person to "win." This often requires a willingness to give a little to get a little. A successful mediation is one where both parties walk away feeling they've made concessions but also achieved a fair and workable set of proposals.

9.      Focus on the future, not the past.  Think about your priorities, aims and what is important to you. Be prepared to explain what things are making you anxious about the future and identify anything that you believe will improve the situation for both of you.

10. Be realistic with your expectations Mediation is not a magic wand. It may take several sessions to work through all the issues. Be patient with the process and with each other. It's also important to be realistic about the potential outcomes and the financial realities of your situation.

Remember a solution will never be forced on you in mediation so do not be concerned that discussing an option will force you to accept it. Discussing and understanding options is not always easy, but each step helps you towards achieving a solution.

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Family mediation is an opportunity to find and create a solution to a legal issues, rather than leaving it in the hands of a court. By preparing, listening, and maintaining a focus on a positive outcome, you can make the mediation process work for you and your family.

If you would like to know more about how mediation can help you book a free call on our website – www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk

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